Your self consciousness makes me sad. But makes sense in this effed up puritanical—but-accepting-of-a-sexual-assaulter-running-for-POTUS—culture. I choose to see this photo as an act of defiance and pride. Well done.
Hi, Benjamin. I really liked your post. It talks so much about things that are unconfortable to me and to many others. Just as you said, my religious upbringing has brought me to so many difficult situations and contradictions, not to mention the pain. And also, as a writer wannabe, I sometimes see myself as someone elevated from the rest of the world, and think of my must-be life as something spotless, free of sweat, dust, human stuff that are not so pretty. Hell with that. Your body is part of you. Your sexuality is part of you. Sexuality (and you sexual orientation) can never be tagged as unnatural or disgusting. Our values inherited from society do. And that's it. You writing about this made me smile and remember I don't walk alone this path of breaking with our environment's restriction, of being honest to myself (and that's exactly what you did!). Sometimes courage is not about fighting a lion. It's about having the guts to embrace yourself and brakeing the spiral of shame we all live in. Hell with shame. It's the worst thing. I'm convinced that one day, my last day, I will look back to my past and all that shame will turn into regret.
Ben...I happened upon your post. First...you ARE a good writer. As someone who also does some writing, I can appreciate exceptional "prose", and you have it. You also give me new appreciation for Substack. I also follow some other writers here. You know, as someone who is also gay, and who takes it matter-of-factly, I can still sympathize with your sometimes "plight". I realized early that I preferred males and masculinity, which I see as totally normal, much like someone being left-handed rather than right-handed. It is a normal occurrence (although was once "frowned upon". The male body is something to be proud of and is who we are, for the most part; and when we realize that the body is our "temple", we are ahead of the game. I appreciate the male body without "shame". You have a really nice body, and you work at maintaining it (as you should). Your body has become part of your career (just as the ability to play piano forms a career for others). When you are "blessed" with something, it is the smart thing to use it.
Never once have I been "ashamed" or hesitant of my "gayness". In my mind, my preferences are normal, and I am a normal guy in every other sense of the word, allowing me to have a wonderful, normal life in every way. It doesn't affect my life in any way. I put my pants on the same way everyone else does. I don't desire to be exotic, purposefully different, or anything else, because I am the normal, everyday me and my routine and daily life is not affected by what sex I would prefer to see in underwear or the 'altogether". I regularly receive ads for Jack Adams, and they are a good company, with good products, and good-looking, clean models that represent the rest of us. They (you) help to sell us on looking good in these products. To be "embarrassed" by looking good in your own skin, with the advantage of enhancing the product that you are modeling, is like being embarrassed by your dancing on the stage for the public. Never get that attitude but rather be pleased with who you are. Your religious background does not and should not affect who you are. I still go into a church just like I belong (and I do). My parents accepted me for who I am, and any gay feelings never entered the picture. I don't need to be "out", just normal, and who I am in my private thoughts and life does not enter into the picture. I have been a teacher, activist, and public figure, including an actor and director, and never once has anything come up about anything...and that's the way I like it and feel it should be. If I live with someone or go to bed with someone does not and need not be a part of what I do. I am completely masculine and normal and fully satisfied. Bew proud that your ass is in public (I would have no qualms about doing it, either). You're a sexy guy (s0mething most of us want to be), and I appreciate your body. We go on Instagram, presenting our best sides to people, as we should., and those guys who go on "Only Fans" I have a lot of respect for, as they also present "all" their best sides. As you well know, we see some "hot" looking guy and wonder what he looks like under his clothes. These guys give us that opportunity.
Sorry that I rambled on so long, but your writing inspired me.
Honestly, Ben, you are a genuinely excellent writer. If someone is incapable of seeing that after looking at pictures of you in underwear, then it's their loss.
Well now your silence makes sense. I hope this journey gets easier and gentler on you and your heart. I wish you pride and joy for the body that serves you and you worked hard for in which to provide modeling opportunities. I send you prayers for gentleness in your heart and daily life. A
Your self consciousness makes me sad. But makes sense in this effed up puritanical—but-accepting-of-a-sexual-assaulter-running-for-POTUS—culture. I choose to see this photo as an act of defiance and pride. Well done.
Thank you! ❤️❤️❤️
Hi, Benjamin. I really liked your post. It talks so much about things that are unconfortable to me and to many others. Just as you said, my religious upbringing has brought me to so many difficult situations and contradictions, not to mention the pain. And also, as a writer wannabe, I sometimes see myself as someone elevated from the rest of the world, and think of my must-be life as something spotless, free of sweat, dust, human stuff that are not so pretty. Hell with that. Your body is part of you. Your sexuality is part of you. Sexuality (and you sexual orientation) can never be tagged as unnatural or disgusting. Our values inherited from society do. And that's it. You writing about this made me smile and remember I don't walk alone this path of breaking with our environment's restriction, of being honest to myself (and that's exactly what you did!). Sometimes courage is not about fighting a lion. It's about having the guts to embrace yourself and brakeing the spiral of shame we all live in. Hell with shame. It's the worst thing. I'm convinced that one day, my last day, I will look back to my past and all that shame will turn into regret.
Thank you so much. I so appreciate your words
Ben...I happened upon your post. First...you ARE a good writer. As someone who also does some writing, I can appreciate exceptional "prose", and you have it. You also give me new appreciation for Substack. I also follow some other writers here. You know, as someone who is also gay, and who takes it matter-of-factly, I can still sympathize with your sometimes "plight". I realized early that I preferred males and masculinity, which I see as totally normal, much like someone being left-handed rather than right-handed. It is a normal occurrence (although was once "frowned upon". The male body is something to be proud of and is who we are, for the most part; and when we realize that the body is our "temple", we are ahead of the game. I appreciate the male body without "shame". You have a really nice body, and you work at maintaining it (as you should). Your body has become part of your career (just as the ability to play piano forms a career for others). When you are "blessed" with something, it is the smart thing to use it.
Never once have I been "ashamed" or hesitant of my "gayness". In my mind, my preferences are normal, and I am a normal guy in every other sense of the word, allowing me to have a wonderful, normal life in every way. It doesn't affect my life in any way. I put my pants on the same way everyone else does. I don't desire to be exotic, purposefully different, or anything else, because I am the normal, everyday me and my routine and daily life is not affected by what sex I would prefer to see in underwear or the 'altogether". I regularly receive ads for Jack Adams, and they are a good company, with good products, and good-looking, clean models that represent the rest of us. They (you) help to sell us on looking good in these products. To be "embarrassed" by looking good in your own skin, with the advantage of enhancing the product that you are modeling, is like being embarrassed by your dancing on the stage for the public. Never get that attitude but rather be pleased with who you are. Your religious background does not and should not affect who you are. I still go into a church just like I belong (and I do). My parents accepted me for who I am, and any gay feelings never entered the picture. I don't need to be "out", just normal, and who I am in my private thoughts and life does not enter into the picture. I have been a teacher, activist, and public figure, including an actor and director, and never once has anything come up about anything...and that's the way I like it and feel it should be. If I live with someone or go to bed with someone does not and need not be a part of what I do. I am completely masculine and normal and fully satisfied. Bew proud that your ass is in public (I would have no qualms about doing it, either). You're a sexy guy (s0mething most of us want to be), and I appreciate your body. We go on Instagram, presenting our best sides to people, as we should., and those guys who go on "Only Fans" I have a lot of respect for, as they also present "all" their best sides. As you well know, we see some "hot" looking guy and wonder what he looks like under his clothes. These guys give us that opportunity.
Sorry that I rambled on so long, but your writing inspired me.
Love this essay!
Honestly, Ben, you are a genuinely excellent writer. If someone is incapable of seeing that after looking at pictures of you in underwear, then it's their loss.
Wooo! Congrats you butt model!
Well now your silence makes sense. I hope this journey gets easier and gentler on you and your heart. I wish you pride and joy for the body that serves you and you worked hard for in which to provide modeling opportunities. I send you prayers for gentleness in your heart and daily life. A
Loved this- so much food for thought!
very thought provoking read 🩷